My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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