she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
