Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
