Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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