I am puke
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
