also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
