All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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