I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
