yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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