yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
