Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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