Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
