Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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