Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
