I just saw a hot homeless man
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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