i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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