i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
