make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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