Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
