I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
