The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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