In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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