miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
