I need to stop coming to work sober
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
