mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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