Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
