I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
