You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
