she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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