it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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