i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
