they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
