oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you traded sex for a burrito?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
