im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
