A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
