Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
