why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize