I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
