when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
