i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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