i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
