WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
