honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
