Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
