chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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