It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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