ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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