well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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