I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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