Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
