Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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