i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
