you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
