It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
where am i from again
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize