I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
