Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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