She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
