we're blogging at a bar
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
