i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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