"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
