I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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