I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
