I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
