Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
