"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
