whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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