Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
