i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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