I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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