This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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