I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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