and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
